Why I Created Kindred Spirits

There was a period of my life where grief and love collided.

It began with loss. Angus, my family dog, a West Highland Terrier, he had been beside me for 15 years.

Then came pregnancy, the birth of my son, and all the beautiful and overwhelming changes that come with becoming a mother.

Then, when my son was only six months old, I lost Nahla.

My German Shepherd.
My soul dog.
My shadow.
My home.

She was only eight years old.

People often say losing a dog is like losing a member of the family. For me, it felt like losing a part of myself.

The grief that followed wasn't something I could easily put into words.

I wasn't just sad. I was broken.

I would wake up each morning and, for a split second, forget she was gone. Then it would hit me all over again. The weight of it sat on my chest from the moment I opened my eyes.

I missed her in every moment. The empty space where she should have been.
The sound that wasn't there. The routines we'd built our lives around. The quiet certainty that she was always nearby.

I kept going because I had to. I had a baby who needed me. A life that still demanded to be lived. Responsibilities that didn't pause for grief.

From the outside, I looked functional. Inside, I felt like I was falling apart.

There was no space to stop and process what had happened. I filled every moment, trying to stay distracted. The television was always on. Music played constantly. I stayed busy from morning until night because silence felt unbearable.

I didn't realise it then, but I was running from my grief. I just knew that if everything went still, it would all catch up with me.

Over time, the weight of everything I was carrying began to show up in my body. The transition into motherhood had already changed so much. Then grief arrived too.

My body became reactive. Foods I'd eaten for years suddenly made me unwell. I couldn’t sleep properly. I was exhausted, anxious, overwhelmed, and constantly on edge. I didn't recognise myself anymore.

I kept searching for answers for these symptoms that had become physical. Trying different supplements. Endless tests and medical appointments.

The deeper truth was that my body had been carrying more than physical stress.

It had been carrying grief.

The loss of a dog who had shaped my life. The loss of a relationship that had regulated me, comforted me, and grounded me every single day. The loss of a soul I loved with my whole heart.

It had also been carrying the enormous transition into motherhood. Interrupted sleep. The responsibility of caring for a baby. The pressure of continuing to function while quietly carrying more than I realised.

Losing Nahla didn't happen in isolation. It arrived during one of the most vulnerable seasons of my life.

What I experienced wasn't grief alone. It was the collision of love, loss, motherhood, exhaustion, and a nervous system that had been running on high alert for far too long.

It took me a long time to understand that grief doesn't live only in memory. It lives in the body too.

It lives in the way your heart still expects them to be there.

In the way your home never quite feels the same.

In the way you carry both love and loss with you long after the world expects you to have moved on.

Somewhere in the middle of learning to live with that grief, I realised I couldn't have been the only person feeling this way.

Surely I wasn't the only one searching for words that never seemed to exist.

The only one who still spoke their dog's name every day.

The only one who felt like the world had moved on while part of me was still lying on the floor in the moment I lost her.

Kindred Spirits grew from that place.

Not because it could take the grief away.

But because I wanted to create the thing I so desperately needed when I lost Nahla.

Something that reminded me my grief wasn't too much.

That the bond we shared hadn't ended.

That loving her this deeply didn't need to be explained.

If Kindred Spirits can help someone else feel seen, understood, or simply a little less alone in their grief, then it has become everything I hoped it would be.

Explore Kindred Spirits here